NeW。LiFe。mY。LiFe。❤ *.:｡✿*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･✿.｡.:❉

Maybe it's a good chance to recall my sweet memories otherwise my brain cells will die soon....
in fact, when we are in Taiwan...sometimes we still argued with some mere trifle, but in
Thailand
Everything is so wonderful...maybe we both knew that we would separate each other after 13 days
(He only stayed in Thailand 13 days) or maybe because he lived in my mommy's
house several days so he couldn’t shout me ...he couldn’t be so impatient with me at that moment
The first day he arrived the Bangkok airport before me, because we took different flight.
My cousin tried to find who was Markus and waited him almost 1 hour in the airport.

At that moment, I was still in Taiwan and nothing could do only worried about him
Fortunately, finally my cousin found the guy who he thought looked so old and disable in the first sight... hahaha.. When I heard that from my cousin, I really couldn’t help laughing.
This is because Markus hung up and hid all his passport and money under his t-shirt which one he wore that day.
All his stuff for Taiwan were too heavy...so the luggage bent his back as he was a disable person, maybe also made his face looked very tired and old. hahaha....
By the way, he was late only because his flight was delayed and he needed to wait a long time to line up for the Customs...

The second day we took a sky bus to the weekend market where sold a lot of Thai souvenirs...
It was nice except the weather...it's really bloody hot for both of us.
In fact, we didn’t buy too much stuff there...it couldn’t attract us too much..
He only wanted to buy one of the Chinese tea set, because he forgot to buy one in Taiwan.
Unfortunately....he couldn’t find a real good one in good price that day, maybe only because we are foreign people there.
Why I talked in this way...not because of the prejudiced view.
For example, I tried to find two bamboo bags there for my cousin. The price could be 300~800NTW different in this market, even though it was the exact same stuff.
Markus told me he didn’t like Bangkok too much after we went there..

Maybe this is because it's too crowded and too hot for him.

At night, my cousin drove us to watch a pussy show...

It was a show which girls could use their pussies to do maybe 50 different things...

Used pussy to open the cover of a bottle...used pussy to smoke or took out a long line with very sharp chips from their pussies...or shot the arrow with pussy, sounds incredible, right?

In terms of new stuff, it’s quite fresh, but not in terms of content in the show…because the show girls are not really very beautiful.

Some were lady-men and some looked like the elephant or the hippo.
Conclusively, the Taiwanese peach made Markus belly had a big problem there....so until the second day we still didn’t try any Thai food there...otherwise everything was all-right there.
It’s the first day and the second day what happened in our trip...
Would be continued.....

December 25, Monday fine

Today was Christmas. I just dawned on me that I don’t know myself very well. Why I give up my trip to wait a man who is called Markus? I know a few people who would sacrifice a great deal for love, but am I as great? How could I have been so stupid? I should have had a good trip everywhere, oh well, it’s too late to do anything about it now and all that I can do is waiting for his back. He promised me that he would be back at 8 o’clock pm. The thought that my beloved baby would pick me up at night was too excited for me to bear.

The ringing from the electric bell, I couldn’t believe that he was standing in front of me. I hugged him for a long time. Then I saw his hair had changed. He looked cuter than before and he dressed just like a child soldier. We had been in touch with each other all throughout the days. I really missed him so much.

We talked about his Christmas in his house and he showed me the cute cake which was made by his mom. He told me the most excited thing for me was the Chinese sheet from his mom. We liked it so much and couldn’t wait to give each other a hot night. He used the handcuff to hold me and then we went to the high tide together. The feeling is hard to word. After that, he said honey bunny maybe I was wrong last time…I love you a little bit. I wanted to reply him I love you too, but I still couldn’t express my true love in front of him. We just watched a film which was called Munich with the delicious cake. We both had a very good time on this unforgettable Christmas.

December 24, Sunday fine

Yesterday Markus baby left for his house. Today was a quiet morning; no one spoke. Why? Because today is Christmas’s Eve. When I woke up this morning I found nobody in the Poppenbrau. Not a morsel of food passed my mouth, nor did I taste a drop of liquid the whole morning. This morning was a very lonely day for me. Markus was on my mind all day. I tried to call his mobile, but nobody pick up the phone. If I could I would like to fly to him but there’s no way I can. I wish he was back with me right now.

After the thought, I had a surprise visit. Vicky came to visit me in the afternoon. In the evening we cooked our dinner together and watched a French movie after that. At around nine, we ate cherry cake with the red wine. I had a wonderful tonight because of her. She slept in Poppenbran tonight and would set out to travel with Judy at noon tomorrow. This time I know myself very well. I knew why I stayed here alone but didn’t accept Constance’s invitation to France. Paris is my dream, I want Markus accompany with me but not travel there alone. I know it is an illusive goal and have learned to live with the fact, so finally I don’t ask him. Waiting for him seems to take forever.

I got a message from Markus before I went to bed. He told me that he wanted to open his present in front of his parents. His words shocked me out of talking with him. I don’t want him be killed by his mom because of me. God bless him! Amen~

December 23, Saturday fine

Today everybody has left Ingolstadt for theirs hometown. Certainly, it includes both Markus and Alex. I put the fragile bottle and china of Shi-sha in a pink box carefully, and then packed the pink box in a large carton. I wanted to let the present come as quite a surprise to him. I will give him as many as surprises I can even if he can’t say love to me. This is because I know the mount of love we can have is limited. Before he left here, we exchanged our Christmas’s presents. I gave him the large carton and overrode his heavy backpack. I certainly don’t want intelligence. Just because the weight and our photographs can bring him back many pleasant memories after my leaving. He bought a bottle of Tommy girl’s perfume for me. I called it Markus’s girl. It was really a fragrant memory in my life. I will keep the smell all the time to remind him of me. I wanna give him a remembrance of my eastern flavor deeply.

Mike rang the door bell while I started to imagine Markus’s astonishment at opening the large carton and the pink box of Shi-sha. I awoke to the ringing of the electric bell. We chatted over a cup of Chinese tea and cherry cake, talking about our different culture and why citizens can keep gun legally in America. Before our talking, I thought why their government didn’t care about maybe somebody would gun down innocent women and children or people. He explained me that the second one of their constitution rules people can keep the gun to protect themselves. They can’t shoot exactly as they like, carrying a gun with you is not licensed for walking on the road. The polices and people who has the professional license are excepted from the regulation, but shooting has been as fishing to them lately. People use the gun for hunting or against the wild animals. He said the Hollywood’s movie has stretched the truth to result in the problem in dispute.

I couldn’t understand all his words because he is an American, but I could understand 80% of the outline. After our talking, I found that people brought in a verdict of guilty to Mike was wrong. I found him learned. His words sound pleasing, too. He is not so bad as people described. I liked the guy’s clear retort when our opinions differed on the matter. Maybe this was our first long talk and he pretended to be so. It’s not my business. Let it be as it is. There are only one or two things I’d like to know about. Does my family miss me? Does Markus also miss me at this moment?

December 22, Friday fine

Today I talked with Ruby who worked in ASUS on msn and mentioned what I had come for, she immediately offered to lend me help. We chatted for a while and then I went to Markus’s flat for asking him to make an application of his internship in summer. When he was writing his curriculum vitae, my mobile suddenly rang. It was Lorena. She invited several of her friends to the Shufferbrau for dinner owing to the reason she would leave Germany for Spain tomorrow morning.

In the afternoon, I did my favorite pastime once again. It was good that Markus came along with me for shopping. We went to ADEKA today. The Santa Claus climbed up the white facade of the building and its unique architecture attracted anyone’s attention very easily. The salesladies in side were very courteous. They helped me to find the clothes were Alex’s size. I finally bought a black sweater for him. I thanked him for the many kindnesses he showed me. Markus helped his father to pick up a set of beautifying tools for his mom. It is not very cheap, but quality often matters more than price. After our shopping, he asked me to buy two bottles of wine and bring it to Shufferbrau all by myself. I brought all the Christmas presents for Alex, Lorena and Mario with the wine and a cake. It was really bloody heavy for me. I must tell him I am not used to heavy work next time. I was happy to exchange my present with Alex and see him before his leaving.

After our dinner, Markus accompanied me to the Poppenbrau. I asked him did you love me. He hesitated to reply me and said that he couldn’t say “I love you”, because we must separate after one month. I had words with him…I really doubted whether Markus had true love with me or only for sex. I knew he was right and against my thought that maybe we could keep our love without distance. His sentence seemed to distance himself from me. It was a real hurt to my fragile heart. I like him more than before. It seems that I am afraid to hear any stories from Germany about Markus’s love in the future. Why he was so cruel to me…the words was a cruel blow at my heart and resounded in my mind. Maybe he thought as if “I’d rather you knew that we had no future now, than afterwards.” He lay on Constance’s bed and could give me no comfort. I tried to cure myself, but what could I say? It was just playing, only for fun, or no eternity in the world? Maybe I was laughed at by him for my naïve question.

December 18, Monday fine

As the air is very dry, I am suffering from influenza. I am still sick. I told Markus that I just needed rest so he cooked the spaghetti for our lunch. It was the best food I have ever eaten. He asked me for accompanying him to buy his parent’s presents of Christmas in the afternoon. I was unable to go out owing to the cursed disease. I decided to stay at home recently in order to prevent no danger of infection to my baby. I hope I will get well soon.

December 17, Sunday fine

I went to the Christmas’s market in Numberg with Vicky, Sam, Lorena and Pedero for its famous reputation this morning. Most of the stuff there was junk. The only thing I liked was a box of cookies they had; it was too expensive though. The trip was so so, maybe the reason was I have been there before. Though the Christmas market was bigger than in Ingolstadt, they sell the same stuff.

This time I also made a wish with the truly magic ring as last time. People were told not to spread their wish around and turned the ring 9 times then the dream would come true. I really hope the ring should be able to fulfill my requirement. I missed Markus so much at that moment.

Markus sent me a message on my way home and said that the big and small teddy bear miss me. He also asked me if I wanted him cook the sausage for me. I visited him at night and I stayed with him tonight. My hot tears welled up in my eyes while he said if I were not come from so long distance country, I would be the perfect girl. I knew why I cried. I knew myself…I don’t want to face the truth that we only can walk two months together and then separated. I still want to walk with the guy as long as the distance from Taiwan to Germany. After our hot night, he would rather embrace the small teddy than hug me. I envied and got angry so I left at 2 am.

December 16, Saturday fine

Today is a lucky day for me but Markus. When I woke up from my sweet dream I fell on my bed and listened to music while Balashine prepared lunch for me. Christmas’s atmosphere has completely disappeared, but the promise still existed. He said he would leave Ingolstadt soon, so he wanted to cook for me. He cooked the chicken with rice for me, Attila, Melody, Vicky, the couple and Daniel, because today was Daniel’s birthday. Attila also baked a cake in the oven for his birthday. I scooped some mushrooms with chicken soup out of the pot for Balashine to appreciate his lunch. He admired my soup and the delicious meat very much, so I was too impatient to wait Markus to come back from his village for my soup.

Everybody went to Shafferbrau for Daniel’s birthday party. It was not as good as before because everybody was preparing and saving money for their family’s Christmas’s presents. I also have to save money for my family’s souvenirs. It was really boring to sit there without Markus to bully.

Markus visited me at midnight. He said that he really missed me. He told me how the car accident happened and he must to pay 500 euro. He made a careless mistake because he tried to send me a message while he drove the car. I tried to comfort him, but what could I say? I only could heat my chicken soup on the stove for him and hugged each other tightly for the disappointed result.

December 15, Friday cold

Soon after I got home I received a message. It’s from Markus. He asked me if I wanted to go to the Sun-sea bar with his flatmates. This was because Migare’s sister was here.

It was crowded as usual when we arrived there, so I didn’t enjoy myself a lot in this pub. Originally, I hoped that they would change another pub but they didn’t. They ordered the Shi-Sha for fun, but I was afraid to smoke the pipe which everybody used it in a pub. Suddenly I found someone ordering a colorful cocktail. Looking at the blue and white cocktail in the distance as if it called me: Order me! Order me!

I have gotten the best cocktail at last! They put up the exquisite decorations for the cocktail. The snow-white cream with the blue syrup looked like the white clouds with the bright blue sky. I liked the cocktail’s flavor of banana. I got a good night because of this glass of cocktail.

December 14, Thursday fine

According to the calendar, today was not the Christmas Eve, but there was a big Christmas party in Poppenbrau tonight. There were many entertainments, such as everybody must wear the special costume, and dancing, etc. I didn’t think there was anything I disliked about the job. Well, the only downside I could think of, if I have to choose one, is probably the fact that Jan discriminated against a Chinese girl’s opinion. I have been involved in proposal development, food and music selection as well as project scheduling and budgeting. But when we gathered not enough money for alcohol drinks, he complained that no sense in buying any cakes.

Party was about to start, there was nothing that I heard but Jan asked French girl’s opinions in front of me. They replied that only champagne, alcohol drinks and chips but no cookies and cakes. I felt really terrible. I served the public wholeheartedly, regardless of my personal gain or loss. I never said anything when they only cared about their dresses but not helped me to decorate the party and yet I couldn’t say anything to them when they only criticized some bullshit even I already bought the cakes. In fact, I warned them one boxes of beer were not enough for party so we bought two yesterday, but they complained to me about the beer were not enough today. The reason was they used a lot of money to buy the expensive alcohol but not my cheap cakes.

I rushed to the store and bought a crown for today’s party. Fortunately, we got a successful Christmas party. I heard some people admired me for the party. They finally realized that the whole thing would be a joke if only had alcohol drinks and chips. I knew for certain why I didn’t do half as well as I should, because good communications skills were also required. I believe I have enough knowledge and experience to organize a party, but now I really understand that I will need to learn don’t let myself get frustrated much too easily only because of some idiots.

December 13, Wednesday

On arriving at Poppenbrau, to my surprise I found someone was already waiting for me in front of the door. It was my hot property, Markus, who hid an orange rose from me. Suddenly I understood what had been happening. I wanted to show my gratitude, but he was in a hurry to leave for his next class in the afternoon. Looking at the vivid rose, I felt it was just like his beating warm heart.

I came into my flatmate’s room flaunting my lovely orange rose and said, “Oh, what flower smell so fragrant?” The rose seemed smile at me. It was so vigorous, its lush green leaves so lovely. There were lots of flowers I have received in my life, including pink, red roses, lilies, and the most precious was the very rare color rose, which came from my precious. I would water this rose everyday. I believed that my rose would become more and more flourishing, and my desk would be a paradise in my heart with the rose.

I wish I could see him tonight but he had to go his company’s Christmas party. I heard it was a bloody expensive banquet. After we went to the super market with my flatmates for tomorrow Christmas party food, when Markus visited me it was almost eleven. We sat in front of the kitchen and taught each other how to sing a children’s song in our language. When he sang the Chinese song, it was really so cute. Outside was cold, but warm in here. While I was sleeping I turned on our lovely video to listen to his children’s song. I could identify my fears from my mind. I know I couldn’t walk into a world which was full of our love. But I don’t know how I would act if I really drowned to the vast love river.

December 12, Tuesday snowy

Today Markus wished me to accompany him to the Christmas market with his friends.

Now it was my go to ask him give me a present. I must strike while the iron was still hot, so our give-and-take conditions were if I accompanied him then I would get my second lovely apple to eat. I traded my true love for a lovely apple from him, but only had a slim hope of success to keep our love. After Christmas market on the way to Shafurbrau, he told me that he loved me more and more even though I didn’t like him, but fucking distance…There were times when I didn’t know what to reply. Looked at the falling snowflakes, I wasn’t feel happy at all. Ha-ha! Maybe he had affected by my poison apple. Now I am the Queen of Markus slave. He also said that he had been saving 100 euro each month for many years to build a house. I was shocked by his speech. There is good in him, in spite of his bad reputation for fickle lover.

I was disappointed that other guests of Lorena had finished almost all the cake when I arrived in Shafurbrau. That’s what it all adds up to this: the cake was so delicious that only a small piece of it left. Though the small piece of cake was shared out between us, I still deeply appreciated Lorena’s kindness to make a cake for me, so I brought her a cute box of chocolates.

Markus and I went back to his flat and then brought the Chinese poker and glue wine. Melody toasted oranges for us. Of course most of foreigners didn’t agree with her strange deed. In my opinion, it wouldn’t be too bad. I couldn’t imagine which kind of flavors should be before my tasting, but it turned out that my surmise was correct. It tasted good. Everybody enjoyed themselves on this wonderful tonight.

December 11, Monday 

I did my favorite pastime today: Shopping. I went to the department Store and the normal stores. It was hard to find something I really liked and wasn’t too expensive. Finally the white hair of a polar bear and its unique sense of touch attracted my attention directly. It is easily the best Christmas present for Markus. I’ve enjoyed each time I’ve gone out shopping alone. I like the feeling that I can pick something I really like and buys it for my sweet baby.

While I was walking around the store, I tried to explain myself to a saleslady that I couldn’t find the see-through packing paper for my polar bear. An old man was curious about what was going on for the saleslady couldn’t understand what I was talking about. To my surprise, the old man stepped in and helped me explain myself. Fortunately the old man could understand what I was talking about, so he just translated it back into German for the saleslady. Though I couldn’t find the size of the packing paper were big enough for my present, I smiled at him. He then invited me to have something to eat with him. I tried to refuse but finally I gave in because the location was the Christams Market in Ingolstadt.

He said that he was an old widower and had two children who were younger than I. He told me too, that he worked for the government in Ingolstadt before his retirement so he traveled on a lot pension. Maybe this was the reason that he could order for us the wine and cherry pancake with coffee for free. After we ate I thanked him and said I could cook for him and his small daughter next time in Poppenbrau. Although I knew that I must leave Germany soon and won’t be seeing him again it is good to be able to meet a kind old man like him.

This evening, I told Markus about my peculiar experience. I told him how excited I was about the incident. What made it bad was that he did nothing but only cared about his Taiwan trip with Vicky. Maybe he thought it was boring. After that I began talking with another people. He disappointed me because he only asked Vicky and showed her his new guide book. I found this a bit uncomfortable. After a while I learned to just ignore them and go home.

At night, Markus got home directly sent me a message to ask if the chocolate candies in the baby’s bottle and the polar bear belonged to him. If he is the bear, I must be a clever cat. Don’t let him love me too much.

December 10, Sunday Rainy

Today we have moved into a new world. The world is not just a word. I find that there are a lot of my dreams there. I am beginning to learn about the real life which I hope for from the teddy bear. He looks like my big terrestrial globe. I hope that we can travel the five Continents and the four Oceans together even though he gets other girls in the future. There is so much miracle that I can learn from him. I like my big globe very much, but I only can put him in my heart so that he won’t find the secret. Then I can leave through a secret door and all at once disappear from his life when the time is up.

I have my own date at last. To my astonishment, Markus asked me to make a trip with him, Wolfi and Melody. He sent me a link to show me where we would go. It has a crazy story which he and Michi ventured their lives in exploring the rushing river with rainstorm. It was a miracle that they returned at all. This is also the reason why I am interested in true stories background about two great idiots. Before we reached our destination, I was very hungry. So I bought a box of cookie in a shop where was next to the gas station. Unfortunately I found that I didn’t bring my bankcard and any bills.

To my surprise, when we got down from the car we looked over the peaceful landscape with river and rock wall, it was so incredible and beautiful. At that moment, I lost my head in a moment of excitement. But when Markus forgot to hold me in his hand and left me behind him alone, I became heart broken at once. I envy Melody because Wolfi walked her roaming around the river. It was getting darker and darker. I felt very glad although the weather was not very good. This is because I can imagine the scenes which they rolled up their pants and underwent the experience of adventure. We thought it was going to rain, so after touching the river then we ran to the church and found the cloistered bar. This place let me recalled the top of the hill where could see the church of Markus’s village. Can I climb up the hill once again? Will we have the future, I wonder?

Markus drove them to the Christmas market then we went to a swimming pool together. Originally I didn’t want to bring my swimming suit because I was too shy to unfold my body in his eyes. But now I was gratified by my final decision. We had a lot of fun in the sauna even though he was such a stupid little boy to spray cold water on my body. We lay down for an indoor sun bath and took a rest. When he closed his eyes, he let me want to relax and overlap my body of his body. It would be more comfortable then I lay alone here. I wanted to breathe him and felt his body temperature. After several minutes, I asked him for playing the water ski slide. In the beginning, I thought it would be very dreadful, but when I really played it then I found the speed was bloody slow. We all had a good tine on the outside swimming pool. It was so nice of him to hold me with his arms in the water. The fog in the air let me only want to fall asleep in his embrace. I really hope that we can come back here once again. One hour had passed. We swam in the main pool for the real exercise. Swimming is one of my favorite exercises, but I am afraid to swim in the deep place where I can’t touch the bottom. Why even swim in the swimming pool of Germany still as deep as in a lake!!!??? Don’t they have dwarfs here???

In fact, we were reluctant to leave here, but outside was too cold so we had to pick Wolfi and Melody up. Swimming is hungry exercise, so we bought hamburgers on the way to drive them. When we were waiting for them, I stood on the bench then gave him a long kiss from the bottom of my heart for saving my boring life. It was so wonderful tonight. When we met each other, the both crazy guys drove us to a mountain where we could savor the night scenes. I was surprised to see an impressive grand castle in the foggy midnight. It was totally different feeling from visiting a castle in the daytime. The prospects both excited and attracted me to jump over the balustrades. When Markus found the monitor next to the gate of the castle, we ran as soon as possible we could. It was so cool as somebody would take a machine gun to strafe us. If I can, I really want to stay with the guy as the astronauts on the first venture to the moon. But when we walked back to our car, I regretted and doubted myself at once. My worry showed in my eyes once again. How can I remind him that I don’t like walk behind him alone in the shadow? Why he is so stupid? Anyway, that wasn’t anybody’s fault. The fault is just a girl who called Grace is a coward.

When we got back to their flat, I cooked sausages for them because we all could eat a cow at that moment. It was one of the best nights in Germany. Maybe after 20 years, I will visit here once again. And then this flat will remind me of the many nights we stayed in 2006. A guy, he has ever given me the miracle of my life.

December 6, Wednesday Foggy

“Why does the sun go on shining?” This is how I feel today morning. I felt guilty after getting Christmas’s chocolate from Markus. Now is the time to hit myself against the wall. My god! I felt like it was the end of the world. I wanted cry while he gave me the present. Originally, I was afraid that he might scold me once again because he warned me that we had to talk about the problem of great moment last midnight. It seemed to me that a hurricane was coming. Maybe finally he thought the poor little thing looked so afraid so he forgave me for what I had done to him.

I got dead drunk on only two bottles of white wine at one time from girl’s party yesterday. If I remember correctly, I staggered up the street alone and had nothing in my mind but sleeping with Markus. I couldn’t consider what to do next, at that time I could only wait him to have love with me, but he had no desire and wasn’t in the mood to fulfill my requirements. I took off my underclothes so my toy began hotting up though he didn’t want to have love with a drunk girl. I breathed a groan of pain because he was in a bad mood so raped me without soft fondle. I couldn’t feel the stroke of his hand on my body. Even if my private forest had been destroyed by his rudeness, I couldn’t ask him to stop because of my sensual desire. My lips were parted in a half then groaned, “I want more.” I wanted him back to my body but he gave me a glass of water to make me awake. I lost hold of the glass and sprayed water to his bed sheet. He gave me a bad scold because the alcohol made me incapable of doing anything. I didn’t think to land myself in trouble but I did.

What I could say was, “Don’t be angry with a helpless girl.” She thought that you were the man of stable character so she walked to you when the desire got out of control and crashed into the deep love sea. I sent a message to Wolfi and offer my sincere apology. To Markus, I only can say thanks for loving me and defending my little spirit. Fulfillment must be sought through the spirit, not the body or the mind. After several years, will a guy guard my love as you so much? Will a guy give me a present after I do some stupid things to him next morning? I wonder.

He visited me in Poppenbrau with Wolfi but left early. I asked Wolfi a favor to bring the small Santa to Markus. I used the napkin to ink my lip print with a faint perfume of jasmine. I called the small Santa our baby.

December 7, Thursday Rainy

Today afternoon on msn, Markus said he wanted to cook for me. I replied that I had a previous engagement with another people tonight. In fact I don’t need to go with them but Markus. However, I really think that I spent too much time with the boy. It’s not my style to carry out my love. I always fought for freedom so I avoided loving a guy as much as possible. Normally I wouldn’t put myself in my wild love but I got to be too much this time. I am not a fickle lover but I like to make fun of my lover. The tricks always brought me great satisfaction. So, I tried to conceal where we would go to him in order to worry him for a while and then miss me. I went out my way to persuade him to have dinner without me, for the reason that I couldn’t break my appointment with another people. He turned a deafer to my “bullshit” and forced me to tell him my plan for tonight. Finally I felt profoundly guilty to him for having failed to fulfill the appointment of dinner so I told him we would go to the castle for Christmas market. He said, “Shit! It was a surprise of my original tonight plan for you!” “Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!” He is really very cute!!!! He always has a sweet temper to me even though sometimes I turn into a willful child. But I often get angry about trivial things. How could I angry at such a cute baby who always had a big smile on face? Only when he inadvertently hurt my feelings and then I cried to remind him that I was seriously hurt in his stupid deed.

Arrived in the Christmas market, we found it was a small fair but had a cute, stinky camel. We had cherry pancake with rum once again, but it tasted not as good as last time in another fair. Then we went to the basement where sold a lot of Christmas’s stuff. We saw some colorful napkins here. He bet against me of the stuff which is called “napkin”. He said if it was really called “napkin” then he would lick my toe. He is really BANDAN!! Before our leaving, he explained me how the textile machinery operated. I really like listening to him when he talked about the job or thought with his bright eyes gazing at me. To our amusement, we rotated the children pleasure facility from left to right in a bloody fast speed on our way home. I shouted with a scare but he was deaf to my warning. Finally, we were at last at his flat. The excited child was cooking the multi-layer noodles with soup for me in love. But I was not hungry anymore because the damned fast speed made me sick and I really wanted to vomit.

Sometimes, I scarcely dare own the truth that we have to part with each other in three months. I really want to bully the stupid, cute guy as long as possible. But I have to leave without a choice. Admittedly, his smile really can relieve my aching heart to set it down. Yes, I love him that is the dreadful fact, and I can no longer parry, evade, or run away from his arms. How many days left to let him hold my hands tightly? How many times left to let him embrace me warmly? Although I like to put him on my game, it is time to put my game on hold. This time at midnight…I only want to stay in his bed.

Maybe it would be the last time I asked him to give me the key. Maybe…

December 5, Tuesday Fine

Whenever boys are slow, I will get angry and sneer at them. As others ask me why they come late, I will sneer my contempt for their slow movement and reply, “My pretty boys, they need time to make up and dress up.” The remark was, of course, a sneer. From time to time I remind them, “Time is money. Time and tide wait for no man.”

I had dated with Markus to go ice skating together at 8pm and scheduled to meet at his flat. However, unexpectedly, I had hardly stepped out of the gate when I was stopped by Atila and Robert, who came to invite me to go ice skating with them. I went out of my way to persuade them into hurrying up and meeting Markus before we went there, for the reason that I couldn’t break my appointment with Markus. But it was out of the question for me to talk these guys into giving up their original plan! They asked me to go to the rink directly without picking up him. They turned a deaf ear to my explanation and kept themselves free from restraint. In the end I had no other choice but to go with them. Late in the evening when we planned to leave the rink, seeing Atila and such a lot of pretty boys were slow on the chair, I became angry and impatient. That is because I was very cold and tired out. Now I’ve learned it is not easy to wait for pretty boy. So I’ll try my best to avoid marrying this kind of people as much as possible. Since I had known my cousin was this kind of pretty boy, I have been in the habit of going to keep an appointment on time. In a word, I hate to wait for pretty boy. Relatively, others don’t like killing time because wait for me either. Thus I have gradually come to know why we should make good use of every moment.

It was over twelve at night. Suddenly my cell phone had rung when I came back home. I picked up the phone. It was Stephanie. She asked me to go out and participate in the girl’s party. I felt rather tired. But with a second thought, wouldn’t it be a good chance for me to practice English? Yes, right. Why not get right to go? I took a shower quickly. Next I had dressed hurriedly. After arriving the Christmas market, we played a game which was named “I never”. The rule of the game was if you have ever done the thing which the question mentioned, you must drink a mouthful of wine. After the game, I changed my idea a little. Most of them don’t like boys but they play together with boys and even make love with them…am I not the same as other girls? I found our love and sex viewpoint had very great differences. They said they could have sex even if they don’t like somebody very much and talk about sex experience to their parents after sexual intercourse. What’s love? We can neither see it nor touch it. We only can feel it passing by. Love is fair to every one. If you take care and treasure it, it will do you a great favour in return. Nevertheless, it can cause you a great loss if you waste it. Our life is short though we are still young. Don’t say it’s still early to love somebody wholeheartedly. Today Markus bought lovely apple which symbolized love blessing for me. But who bets that we will separate or not tomorrow. Who knows? Let’s make the best use of love and love hard.

December 3, Sunday Foggy

Today Markus got back to his village, so he changed his bed sheet. It took us but a few minutes to make it dirty because we were crazy about the game which interested us a lot. The physiological changes that were beyond our control. He brought me my heart’s desire. After our play I was afraid that he might scold me so I cleaned the stain on the bed sheet. In our opinion, all work and no play is no fun. So we played whole day. What fun we had! At night, I used the rest of the sausages, carrots and potatoes to cook the fried rice with egg for him and then had a fun night in the bed once again.

December 2, Saturday Foggy

Today, I promised Balashine that I would help him to cook for his brother and Chai-Chin. The original plan of the meal was he would buy the ingredients and cook with me. I thought the meal worth cooking for them because Balashine always invited me to have lunch with him, but I finally realized that the whole thing was a joke. He told me they have no time so he asked me to cook for them alone in the early morning today. That’s more than I bargained for. In fact, I was too lazy to cook. I had no choice but to take the task because Chai-Chin gave us some snacks from Taiwan last time.

I was preparing for lunch when I heard a ring at the door. It was Markus. I felt happy because he gave me a sense of reliability by helping me in the kitchen. Of course I was the cook and he did odds and ends. At last, we succeeded in preparing the lunch before they arrived in Poppenbrau. Seeing the Sweet and Sour Chicken with rice, they became happy and excited. But I was tired out. Attila lessoned me while I was cleaning the kitchen waste alone. He gave me a bad scold in front of everybody because I didn’t throw the carrot peels into the trash can directly. I was really angry at him for his silly deeds. It was so stupid of him to complain such a thing. He must imagine what I have done for their hurried and frigging lunch even though I only slept 4 hours last night!

I hated to have quarreled with people. I think at this age should mature everybody enough to handle their own affairs. The problem will resolve itself into a pleasant communication but not to consider oneself in the right. I don’t quarrel with his right to redress, but with his way of redressing. I retorted the invectives on him, and everyone looked embarrassed. I didn’t intend to be rude. Next time I will keep myself in temper when I meet such an idiot!

However, one thing is clear: I am strong-willed to spend all my strength in finishing my German journey.